


This Whole ‘Mutually Beneficial Relationship’ Thing

by fxvixen



Series: Seijoh 4 Week Jan. 2017 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: #madbants, Angst and Fluff, Multi, Phone Call, long distance, mention of sex kind of, swearing but only a little
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 04:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9476429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxvixen/pseuds/fxvixen
Summary: Iwaizumi looks up from the TV when he hears his phone going off. He frowns when he doesn’t recognize the number so he mutes the TV and answers.“Hello?”He’s bombarded with sound and he has to pull the phone away from his ear.“Iwa-chan!”





	

**Author's Note:**

> there's like two mentions of sex but not descriptive at all

Iwaizumi looks up from the TV when he hears his phone going off. He frowns when he doesn’t recognize the number so he mutes the TV and answers.

“Hello?”

He’s bombarded with sound and he has to pull the phone away from his ear.

“Iwa-chan!”

“Hey, babe.”

“Do you miss us??”

“You and Hiro have sex without us yet?”

“Mattsun!”

“Oh, _don’t_. It’s a valid question and I’m sure you were thinking about it.”

Oikawa sniffs. “Yeah, but I wasn’t gonna _say_ anything ab–”

Iwaizumi sighs somewhat fondly into the phone and gets up. “Wait, wait, let me get Hanamaki.” He quickly climbs the stairs and knocks on the frame of Hanamaki’s open door. Hanamaki glances up from his laptop, blank look.

“You wanna talk to the other two of the stooges?”

Hanamaki’s face lights up immediately, grinning and setting his laptop aside. “Of course! I didn’t know they were gonna call.” He pats the space between his legs, and Iwaizumi slides in.

“I didn’t either... it’s probably expensive.” Hanamaki slides his arms around Iwaizumi, who presses speaker. “Guess who I found,” he says, flat.

Hanamaki leans over Iwaizumi’s shoulder to get a better angle at the phone. Iwaizumi tries not to let it bother him how easy it is for him. “Heeyyy,” Hanamaki says.

Hanamaki gets about the same greeting Iwaizumi got.

“Makkiii!!”

“Hey, creampuff.”

“Do you miss us?? Hajime wouldn’t say,” Oikawa’s voice whines.

“I seriously want to know if you’ve had sex yet. In detail, preferably.”

Hanamaki laughs into his ear and Iwaizumi shakes his head.

“We can tell you about that when you get back! How’s the USA? Is it everything you hoped for Issei?”

“It’s definitely cool. The people here are crazy though. At Tooru’s press conference yesterday, there were people _freaking_ _out_ for the other team, and then just kinda… meh, for us. That, like, guilty or pity clap or whatever.”

“But! They shouldn’t have bothered because obviously we don’t need their pity! We’ll crush them either way.”

Iwaizumi smiles. “Gee, I almost forgot how shitty your personality is.” Hanamaki snickers into his ear.

“As if! I’m wonderful Iwa-chan. I know you miss me~”

“Sure,” Iwaizumi agress. “Like I miss a bad headache.”

“Iwa-chan! How dare you!”

“Hajime,” Matsukawa’s voice comes through, reprimanding, “I can’t believe you.”

Hanamaki continues from Matsukawa’s lead, like they aren’t thousands of miles away from each other. “Yeah, Hajime, don’t underestimate Tooru like that, he’s obviously a migraine.”

Oikawa wails loudly into the phone while his three boyfriends laugh. Hanamaki squeezes Iwaizumi’s hand as if to say, _Here they are!! Here’s what we’ve been missing!!_ Iwaizumi squeezes back, content for the moment.

“So why did you call?” Hanamaki asks. “We thought for sure we’d just see you when you came back. You’re only supposed to be gone for a week, right?”

“Yeah, just a week,” Matsukawa’s voice confirms, but it’s subdued, quieter than the teasing from before. There’s quiet muttering on the other end of the line, some shuffling and the sound of a whine from Oikawa.  

Iwaizumi doesn’t like the feeling the muttering gives him so he stops it. “So. Why did you call,” he repeats.

There’s a beat of silence.

A hissed, “Mattsun, no!”

“This loser is feeling sad and he’s worried about playing tomorrow. So, I thought calling you guys would be good for him.”

Iwaizumi cranes his head sideways to look at Hanamaki. He just shrugs back at Iwaizumi. They’re not really sure what to say. Back to basics then.

Hanamaki goes in first. “Ooohh, if _that’s_ all it is. Nice talking to you guys, see you when you get back!”

“Makki, no!” Hanamaki laughs and Matsukawa’s light laugh comes through a little behind. Iwaizumi cuts that off.

“Hey, Idiotkawa are you listening to me?” They all fall silent. “You better not be feeling insecure about your skill level or I’ll fly over there and beat you over the head.”

“He might actually fly over. He’s practically shaking with rage.”

“Steam coming out of the ears?” Matsukawa asks.

“As always.”

“I’m _serious,_ idiot. Do you hear me? You’re a good setter, dammit. You’re on the national team for god’s sake. I can’t believe we’re still talking about this.”

The other end is quiet, and Hanamaki tilts his head, trying to listen harder.

It’s broken by Matsukawa’s quiet, “Aaahh, shit.”

Then comes a horrible sniffing noise. It sounds like someone’s been hoarding snot for a year or so.

“Are you crying??” Iwaizumi is starting to actually get mad.

“No! My allergies are really strong here!” Oikawa doesn’t manage to cover up a sob.

“Issei whack him for me.”

Oikawa lets out a long pitiful whine, featuring more snuffles.

“I’m not as brutal as you Hajime so I just flicked him.”

“Where?”

“The ear.”

Iwaizumi huffs and drops the phone in his lap; he crosses his arms and flops back into Hanamaki. “Not enough.”

Hanamaki picks the phone back up. They can hear Matsukawa softly murmuring to Oikawa; he always has been the best at making them feel calm, even if he can rile them up just as quickly. Iwaizumi has a sudden vision of Oikawa and Matsukawa curled up, a mirror to them, but far away, across an ocean.

Hanamaki nudges him. “Hey Hajime.”

Iwaizumi grunts.

“He can’t get to us here. We could be nice with no repercussions.”

“There are always repercussions,” Iwaizumi mutters, but Hanamaki is right. They’re probably long overdue on reminding Oikawa how great he is.

Iwaizumi sighs. “Hey, Tooru?”

More sniffling, then a clogged, “Yeah?”

“How long do you think I’ve been watching you play volleyball? And Takahiro and Issei, for that matter.”

“A long time...”

“Almost twenty years. I’ve been playing with you and watching you play for almost twenty years now. And Takahiro and Issei for almost ten. Don’t you think if anyone knows how well you play, it’d be us?”

Oikawa’s response is hesitant. “Yeah.”

“And how long have you known me?”

Oikawa lets out a horrific noise that Iwaizumi thinks is supposed to be a laugh but is still somewhat of a sob. “My whole life.”

“That’s right,” Iwaizumi says it like he’d give praise to kid who said the correct answer. “Now, do you think I’d ever lie to you to make you feel better?”

Oikawa whispers, “No, Iwa-chan. You’d tell me if I was doing a shitty job.”

“Would Issei and Takahiro lie to you?”

Tooru pauses.

“ _Seriously_ ever lie to you.”

“Nooo,” Oikawa moans out.

“Good. So when we say that you’re a good setter, that you’re the best setter we’ve ever seen or worked with, talent be damned, you know we’re telling you the truth.”

“Yes, Iwa-chan.” He sounds a bit steadier on that answer.

“And, Tooru, you know that even though Issei is the only one with you, Takahiro and I are still behind you. We support you. You’re gonna kick their asses.”

There’s a muffled “Uh-huh,” then a “Here,” and the worst noise yet comes out of Iwaizumi’s phone. It’s definitely Oikawa blowing his nose.

“Yes, Iwa-chan.” His answer is made of steel, and Iwaizumi knows he’ll be alright.

“Good, cuz you know Takahiro and I will be watching you on TV right? We paid for the livestream and everything.”

Hanamaki chooses that moment to pop back into the conversation. “Yeah, so our screams might be displaced a little by the time it takes for the signal to get to us, but I mean, it’ll basically be live.”

Iwaizumi elbows him.

“I’ll be screaming right on time, in the seats right behind you, Tooru, so obviously I love you more.”

“Shut the hell up, Matsukawa.”

“No fair, Issei. Unfair advantage.”

They can hear Oikawa laugh, and it instantly makes Iwaizumi feel better, even if the laugh is a little rough. “It’s okay~ No need to fight for my love! There’s plenty to go around, of course.”

“Oh good, he’s back,” Hanamaki says deadpan.

Iwaizumi wants to try one more time, just to solidify the message. “Just remember that you’re the best, alright Tooru?”

Oikawa laughs his pompous laugh. “Of course Iwa-chan! I’m going to prove it as well.”

“Good. I love you Shittykawa. And Issei, too, but this phone call has got to be costing you a fortune.”

“Love you, too, Iwa-chan! Makki!

“It’d be worth it if you just told us about the goddamn sex.”

Hanamaki leans forward to jeer into the phone. “Ha! You wish Issei! You’ll just have to wait til you get back and maybe we’ll show you~”

“Hiro, I swear to god.”

Hanamaki continues. “Love you, too, Issei! Love ya, World’s Best Setter.”

“Hiro, don’t you d–”

Hanamaki hangs up. Iwaizumi gives him a high-five and then settles back into his chest, and stares into space; he’s not really thinking but he feels contemplative at the same time. Hanamaki nuzzles into his neck.

Iwaizumi speaks after a moment. “I’m glad they called.”

Hanamaki leaves a kiss on his jaw. “Yeah, me too.”

Iwaizumi blinks at nothing. “They’re only gone a week.”

He leaves a kiss on his ear. “I know.” The words sound how Iwaizumi feels, quiet and just a little miserable.

Iwaizumi shifts to lean his head on Hanamaki’s shoulder and looks at him. “We could arm wrestle.”

“Eeh, we did that the last two days, let me have my pride for one alright? I’ll beat you when they come back.”

Iwaizumi grins but twists to mash a kiss on his cheek. “Alright.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s company and touch. Hanamaki plays with Iwaizumi’s hands and massages his wrists with his thumbs.

“You know what we need?” Hanamaki whispers it into his hair.

“Hm.”

“Game snacks.”

It takes a second for that to reach Iwaizumi’s brain.

“Shit, you’re right.” He hops off the bed quickly, heading for the bedroom door. He looks back to see Hanamaki hasn’t moved and is holding his arms up awkwardly. “What are you doing? Are you coming?”

“You’ve abandoned me, Hajime. Look, my arms still remember the shape of you, but you’ve left me to die here, alone, no snacks to speak of. What is this torment? Come back to me soon, my love!”

Iwaizumi rolls his eyes. “Come on you big lug, let’s go. If you don’t come with, you don’t get a choice on what I buy.”

Hanamaki lets out a groan and flops sideways on the bed. Iwaizumi snorts but heads downstairs, and Hanamaki drags himself down a minute later.

When they’re putting on their shoes, Iwaizumi can’t help but ask, “Do you think Tooru will be alright?”

Hanamaki looks a little surprised. “After that speech you gave him, you’re going to doubt him?”

Iwaizumi scowls, “ _No_. I don’t doubt his skill. I doubt his mental stamina.”

Hanamaki stands and pulls Iwaizumi up with him. “He’ll be fine, Hajime. He just needed a boost.”

“He needs lots of boots,” Iwaizumi is aware that he’s starting to sound like a concerned father. He reaches for the door but Hanamaki pulls him back by the shoulders, looking into his eyes.

“Tooru may need lots of boosts, but good thing there are three of us right?” Hanamaki smiles lopsided at him. “We can give him all the boosts he needs; and he’ll give us boosts when we need them. That’s how this whole ‘mutually beneficial relationship’ thing works.”

Iwaizumi shakes him off. “I know, dumbass. I’m allowed to be worried.”

Hanamaki wipes a fake tear from his eye. “My tiny little Hajime, already developing his fatherly instincts.”

Iwaizumi gives him a good punch as they head out the door.

The bruise is still there when the other two come back. Hanamaki swears it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to [mattsunflower](http://mattsunflower.tumblr.com/) for beta-ing for me and giving me Validation and of course [vivi](http://dgalerab.tumblr.com/) for encouraging me when i was whining
> 
> my tumblr is [fxvixen](http://fxvixen.tumblr.com/). come chat or leave a comment if you liked it! <3


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